Seven years and two kids after, my life has really turned upside down,
in a good way of course. It was not a walk in the park, and no one said it will be.
Getting hitched is like buying a one-way ticket to a great new adventure, with a few bumps along
the way, and there's no turning back.
There are a gazillion things I have yet to learn and experience about marriage as every
event in our lives will present so many different challenges,
opportunities and rewards. What counts is what we make of those that
come our way. Marriage, and now parenting, is a work in
progress. And each day, whether good or bad, is a blessing.
Each married couple goes through a different experience from day one, and with unique stories to tell. It has only been seven years so I'm far from being an expert here. As with the previous post, I will not go into the seriously heavy stuff. Come to think of it, we're not a 'mushy' couple, so no dramas here either, promise.
Different strokes for different folks. What worked for me may not work for you, so just take this at face value. Now on to the second part of my wedding anniversary post, again in no particular order:
7 Random Things I've Learned In 7 Years of Married Life
1. What's Mine is Yours, What's Yours is Mine
When it comes to money matters, be transparent from the very beginning, whether you have it or you don't. As you talk about marriage, these stuff needed to be discussed openly and objectively. There is no "Your/s" or "Mine" now, it should always be "OURS". Unless of course you're talking about your undies!
2. Home Financial Management 101
It pays to see things in black and white, and maybe red! For regular folks like us, personal bookkeeping is essential. This is one of the most important things I've learned from J. Since he is the sole provider, we need to know where we stand financially. Actually seeing and knowing how much comes in and out gives us the peace of mind and makes for better planning of our family's future. So download a Quicken now!
3. Kiss and Make Up within 24 Hours
Petty quarrels, serious fights, whatever conflicts you may encounter, talk it out and settle them within 24 hours so you can move on. I am still working on the talking part :-)
4. Cheap Thrills and Date Nights
Whatever happens, always have a few hours of bonding time, at least once a week. Say, watching a home movie, playing Wii, or just eating ice cream together. Whatever activity, simple or extravagant, find something to do to stay connected. You will need to schedule this especially with kids around!
5. Say What You Want or No-Gift-Required Policy
We don't want to put pressure on each other every time there is an occasion, and one has to think of that perfect gift for all those events. It's just too stressful don't you think? Let's be practical and just tell each other what we want and we'll all be happy. (As of this writing, my Christmas gift is already in transit and I can't wait! You will know what it is soon enough.) Of course a few surprises in between wouldn't hurt either.
6. Be His/Her Arm Candy
Being married, kids or no kids, is not an excuse to look sloppy and unfit. Always make an effort to look good, not just for yourself, but for your spouse. Feel free to give him/her a make-over when necessary. Now I think I need a new wardrobe (wink, wink).
7. You deal with yours (parents), I'll deal with mine (parents)
Peaceful co-existence with the in-laws is ideal. But in the event that an issue arises concerning the in-laws, your spouse should handle the situation, not you. Raise your concern to your spouse first, then let your spouse discuss the issue with his/her parent/s as the right place and time.
These are just a few of my personal insights and realizations through the years. I very much welcome some bits of marriage wisdom, so if anybody care to share some, do leave a feedback as we all need a lightbulb moment from time to time ;)
And may we all live happily ever after...
P.S.
A window to some great moments in our seven-year-old marriage:
In Living Color: Double Take
Show and Tell
Baby Boom, Baby Love - part 1
Baby Boom, Baby Love - part 2
Afternoon Bonding Over Zoob and Champorado
The Boy is 6
How I planned our wedding: 7 Random Things I Learned from Planning a Wedding
Sequel:
Year 2010: 8th lesson > 8 years after 'I Do'...
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